My “trainer diary” hasn’t died, it just went into cardiac arrest on Tuesday night (yes, that’s why). I’m looking forward to catching up ASAP.
It’s interesting how on such an intensive course (for me, too) so much can be blocked out…we can sort of seal off from the non-CELTA world sometimes…certainly this is the experience of trainees…but yes, to a good extent trainers, too! There’s always work related something to do if we don’t WANT to look, if we want to avoid X or Y, if we’re perfectly happy to exist in a workplace we love immersed in work we’re deeply committed to…and maybe even feel protected by this.
The aftermath of Tuesday night has been different.
The last two days on the course have been DIFFICULT for me. Very difficult. If I hadn’t confessed to my trainees how I was in danger of breaking down in tears at some point I may have broken down in tears at some point. I didn’t, but things weren’t working the way they were supposed to and I wasn’t functioning the way I was supposed to.
But I’m recovering. Wounded, maybe a bit scarred.
Dear diary, see you soon!